So it has been a long time since I updated the blog. I wish that life was a little slower so that I could update it more often. But as in the words of Ferris Beuller "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while you could miss it." (That is my all time favorite movie for anyone who doesn't know.) This last Thursday was Elijah's 1st birthday! It was a hard day for me for tow reasons: 1. I don't like my baby growing up so fast and 2. Elliott was out of town. Elliott was in Alaska of all places and originally we had planned to go with him as a family, but again life got in the way. Elliott needed an insulin pump and we needed to buy a new car, so we decided to not go this year. The lightning comittee he serves on goes to Alaska every few years so we will get another chance when the kids are older. I am grateful for my good friend Tonya who spent the day with us and even braved Chik-Fil-A with us and five kids between us. I would have been super sad and lonely that day without her. Our little man seemed very aware that his birthday was a special day for him. Anytime anyone sang Happy Birthday he got all excited, clapped, bounced and smiled form ear to ear. It's bittersweet seeing him grow up. Everyone tells you when you have a baby to cherish the time because it goes so fast. This seems like easy enough advice but how many of us really cherish the time? I know I am guilty of this. It's hard to cherish the time when your children are so wild that they make you want to run away. It's hard to cherish the tantrums and the whining. But we should cherish it. Yes, one day the tantrums will be past, but guess what so will the baby/toddler stage. (yes, I know teenagers have their own set of tantrums.) On his first birthday Elijah did not get something that he wanted and threw himself to the floor kicking and screaming. I admit I laughed a little bit because it was so over the top ridiculous, but it also means that the tantrum phase is starting. I do not enjoy this stage, but I am going to try and cherish it.
As mother's I think we too often get caught up in the competition of everything. Every doctor visit and pretty much every interaction we have with other mothers is characterized by comparing our children.We are constantly comparing them to others development. Now, I'm not saying that this is all bad. If not for the "norms" we wouldn't realize if there were developmental problems. But I do think that all of this competition lends itself to our failing to cherish the little stuff. We get so caught up with "I can't wait until he does this" or "My son is way ahead in this", that we totally miss that we should be enjoying those things. We constantly scour magazines, and books to see what they should be doing by this age. Sometimes we forget to just stop and look around. On Elijah's birthday I took him to the small playground at the mall. He spent the better part of the time there just climbing up and then back down the stairs of the slide. To some this may seem really boring, but because I had nothing else to do I just watched him and marveled at him. He was learning right before my eyes. Seeing his little brain make connections between what he was doing and what he wanted to happen was truly magical. Had I been to busy reading my kindle or texting my friends, I would have missed it. So my advice this time, and it is some that I need to do a better job at heeding is to remember Ferris. "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Because the last thing I want is too look back at this magical time and think "I should have slowed down and enjoyed it more."
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Mom's major mistake
Growing up the oldest of five kids isn't easy. Now I know in the Mormon world 5 kids is pretty normal, but in South Florida it isn't. We were those Van Dyke kids that most people couldn't keep straight. There were definitely advantages to being the oldest. I always got new clothes, I was the first to do most things (sans getting married, thanks Sean), I was in charge and usually the younger ones listened to me. Ok so maybe the only times they really listened is when I had some hair brained plan that I wanted to try, not when I was left in charge. There were, however a few disadvantages. I was supposed to be the example, I usually got in trouble for whatever the little ones did because I should have stopped it, and well being the oldest of five was a lot of pressure to excel. My parents are great parents, amazing parents, they worked miracles with all of us and have turned out five amazing kids. Not a single one of us is a sociopath or criminal. We are all good upstanding citizens and I can say with confidence that I am truly lucky to know them as adults. But the one thing I constantly grew up thinking was that the worst thing about being the oldest was that I was convinced that my parents screwed up on me and then did things better with the younger ones. Now as an adult I know that this comparison is not only untrue, but entirely unfair. But even so that thought still lingers in my mind.
When I had Eden I swore to myself that I was not going to do that to my oldest. I was convinced that being the oldest made me more sensitive to the pressures and stress of being the oldest. And not only that I was not going to treat her any different. I was going to get this parenting thing right the first time around. Flash forward to this week and I am taking Eden to the dentist. She was supposed to get basically a baby root canal on one of her back molars. We have been working on that tooth for over a year and this was supposed to be the solution. Several weeks ago Elliott noticed while brushing her teeth one night that she had a small sore on the gum. She didn't complain about it, and it seemed to be getting better. Plus we had this dentist appointment all lined up. I try to not take my kids to the doctor unless they start complaining about something hurting, are truly sick, or their behavior takes a drastic turn for the worst. Since she wasn't complaining I though it could wait until we went to the dentist. Well turns out that little sore was an abscess which was infected. The infection had spread through the tooth and was sitting on top of her permanent tooth. As a result of this Eden will have to have her back molar pulled and a spacer put in. When the dentist explained this to me I wanted to throw up. Here I was supposed to make sure that I did everything right the first time and I have failed. I didn't take care of her teeth well enough. I know the recommendations are that a child sees a dentist by their first birthday. We didn't take Eden until she was three but to be fair Eden didn't even get any teeth until 15 months. We brush her teeth every night with only the occasional missed night when she falls asleep before. But I failed. I didn't do a good enough job. I compounded my guilt by making sure that I scheduled Elijah for a cleaning when I take Eden in for her next cleaning. He will be 11 months old. And I actually said "I want to make sure I do a better job with him." The one thing I swore I would never do as a parent and there it was.
About now any sane parent is wondering how after being a parent for four years I had not cured myself of the delusion that I was going to get everything right the first time. I mean how many of us have made major mistakes and just hope our kids won't remember when they are adults? I mean Elijah has rolled off the couch not once, not twice, but three times now. In my defense they were not all on my watch and he has a talent for getting around obstacles. Instead of feeling a sense of accomplishment that I am learning from my mistakes and correcting them, I am beating myself up that I didn't catch it in time for Eden, or at least her tooth. It is important as parents that we don't do this to ourselves. I was actually feeling like the worst mother in the world and then I thought about it. Eden got a cavity on a baby tooth, which even though we have been treating it for a little over a year, got infected and now she has to have her tooth pulled. I asked myself was that really the worst thing? I mean look at that mother in Phoenix who smoked so much pot that she forgot her infant on the top of her car and drove off. That is a mother who has some guilt to deal with. My guilt is of my own creation. The thing I should be focusing on is that I now know what to look for and that I can possibly prevent this from happening again. It does not mean that I am a bad parent because I want to be better for my kids in the future. Should I just say oh well, I can't take care of Eijah's teeth better because I didn't for Eden? That would be ridiculous. I think being a good parent is learning from our mistakes and making every effort to do better. I mean isn't that true for life in general?
So for the future I hope that I remember that I am going to make mistakes as a parent. They are inevitable. The key is to make sure that I accept them and learn from them. Hopefully one day Eden will see this and know that I am doing my best not to treat her like an experiment. That I do not just try out stuff on her to see if it works. I am doing my best to get it right the first time. It's hard being the oldest, but it's great too.
When I had Eden I swore to myself that I was not going to do that to my oldest. I was convinced that being the oldest made me more sensitive to the pressures and stress of being the oldest. And not only that I was not going to treat her any different. I was going to get this parenting thing right the first time around. Flash forward to this week and I am taking Eden to the dentist. She was supposed to get basically a baby root canal on one of her back molars. We have been working on that tooth for over a year and this was supposed to be the solution. Several weeks ago Elliott noticed while brushing her teeth one night that she had a small sore on the gum. She didn't complain about it, and it seemed to be getting better. Plus we had this dentist appointment all lined up. I try to not take my kids to the doctor unless they start complaining about something hurting, are truly sick, or their behavior takes a drastic turn for the worst. Since she wasn't complaining I though it could wait until we went to the dentist. Well turns out that little sore was an abscess which was infected. The infection had spread through the tooth and was sitting on top of her permanent tooth. As a result of this Eden will have to have her back molar pulled and a spacer put in. When the dentist explained this to me I wanted to throw up. Here I was supposed to make sure that I did everything right the first time and I have failed. I didn't take care of her teeth well enough. I know the recommendations are that a child sees a dentist by their first birthday. We didn't take Eden until she was three but to be fair Eden didn't even get any teeth until 15 months. We brush her teeth every night with only the occasional missed night when she falls asleep before. But I failed. I didn't do a good enough job. I compounded my guilt by making sure that I scheduled Elijah for a cleaning when I take Eden in for her next cleaning. He will be 11 months old. And I actually said "I want to make sure I do a better job with him." The one thing I swore I would never do as a parent and there it was.
About now any sane parent is wondering how after being a parent for four years I had not cured myself of the delusion that I was going to get everything right the first time. I mean how many of us have made major mistakes and just hope our kids won't remember when they are adults? I mean Elijah has rolled off the couch not once, not twice, but three times now. In my defense they were not all on my watch and he has a talent for getting around obstacles. Instead of feeling a sense of accomplishment that I am learning from my mistakes and correcting them, I am beating myself up that I didn't catch it in time for Eden, or at least her tooth. It is important as parents that we don't do this to ourselves. I was actually feeling like the worst mother in the world and then I thought about it. Eden got a cavity on a baby tooth, which even though we have been treating it for a little over a year, got infected and now she has to have her tooth pulled. I asked myself was that really the worst thing? I mean look at that mother in Phoenix who smoked so much pot that she forgot her infant on the top of her car and drove off. That is a mother who has some guilt to deal with. My guilt is of my own creation. The thing I should be focusing on is that I now know what to look for and that I can possibly prevent this from happening again. It does not mean that I am a bad parent because I want to be better for my kids in the future. Should I just say oh well, I can't take care of Eijah's teeth better because I didn't for Eden? That would be ridiculous. I think being a good parent is learning from our mistakes and making every effort to do better. I mean isn't that true for life in general?
So for the future I hope that I remember that I am going to make mistakes as a parent. They are inevitable. The key is to make sure that I accept them and learn from them. Hopefully one day Eden will see this and know that I am doing my best not to treat her like an experiment. That I do not just try out stuff on her to see if it works. I am doing my best to get it right the first time. It's hard being the oldest, but it's great too.
Monday, May 14, 2012
I Choose Breastfeeding
I have been proud of some of my clever titles for this blog. I could not however think of a clever title for this entry. Ok, that's not exactly true. I could think of lots, just none were particularly appropriate.
I am sure most of you have seen the new Times magazine cover. You know the one with the almost four year old standing on a chair to breastfeed from his mother. I know that a lot of my friends have been talking about it. I will admit that I have a hard time talking about breastfeeding sometimes. I am a huge breastfeeding advocate. I think it is not only an amazingly healthy thing to do for your child but I personally have found it to be an incredibly moving spiritual experience as well. For me, the bond formed while nursing cannot be expressed in words. But sometimes I blush at the thought of talking about it.
I know that not all mothers can or choose to breastfeed. I have a good friend who cannot, I in no way think that she is a lesser mother because of it. I also do not judge those who choose not to breastfeed. It is a choice. It defiantly has some drawbacks. I mean I am envious of those bottle feeding mothers who can roll over at the 2 a.m. feeding and say to their husband "Your turn" and go back to sleep. My husband got up and helped those first few weeks at the feedings, but that help sometimes consisted of sleeping on the floor while I tried to stay awake and nurse the baby. But my own personal viewpoint is that I am grateful for the opportunity to breastfeed. Now back to the cover.
I personally find the cover picture disturbing to me. I think he is too old, but if she wants to breastfeed her child that long, it really doesn't affect me. But what does affect me is the potential backlash against breastfeeding mothers this cover may generate. It is already hard enough to nurse in public. I mean I have a nursing wrap that I use, so nothing can be seen. And while no one has ever commented to me regarding my nursing I do often get dirty looks and a lot of staring. And my son is only 7 months old. The real story we as a country should be discussing is the low breastfeeding numbers, not this crazy cover. I found a breast feeding report card on the CDC website here http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/reportcard2.htm
According to the CDC in 2011 less than 25% of infants were breastfed for 12 months, in Florida that number is less than 21%. And less than 15% nationally are exclusively breastfed at 6 months. Considering the extensive health benefits that have been shown to come from breastfeeding these numbers are shockingly low. Wouldn't our time be better spent trying to find ways to encourage our women to breastfeed and giving them access to the resources necessary to succeed? I was blessed, breastfeeding came very easily to me and my children. Eden had difficulty at first, but I was lucky and a lactation consultant came and we never had an issue after that. Elijah nursed like there was no tomorrow. I know that is not always the case, but I also know that not all women are fortunate enough to have access to support.
There is also a disturbing lack of access to areas conducive to nursing and/or pumping. I went back to work when Eden was 6 months old, but I was determined to nurse her for the recommended 12 months. I pumped religiously multiple times during the day. I was lucky, I had an office with a door that locked. I also was fortunate to work for the Health Department who was very understanding about my need to pump regularly. I was never given a hard time for pumping or questioned about it. In this country it is acceptable to give people frequent cigarette breaks but not every company is as accommodating for pumping mothers. How messed up is that? I have also been forced to pump while in a restroom, because there was no other option. I try very hard to be respectful of others around me and be discreet when I nurse or pump, but I will not apologize for nursing my baby. The point of my rambling post is that breastfeeding should not be seen as disgusting or inappropriate. We should encourage and support women who want to breastfeed no matter how long they choose to do so. I try not to judge a group of people by the fanatics. No one would want to be judged that way. I hope that people do not judge breastfeeding by the Time cover. Not all of us are breastfeeding until the age of four, and most importantly not all of us are ok being photographed doing so. Most of us are just making the best decision for ourselves and our baby that we can. So please don't stare at me like I am flashing Mardi Gras floats for beads when I am nursing my son. And yes I am aware that he slurps very loudly, he's a growing boy.
I am sure most of you have seen the new Times magazine cover. You know the one with the almost four year old standing on a chair to breastfeed from his mother. I know that a lot of my friends have been talking about it. I will admit that I have a hard time talking about breastfeeding sometimes. I am a huge breastfeeding advocate. I think it is not only an amazingly healthy thing to do for your child but I personally have found it to be an incredibly moving spiritual experience as well. For me, the bond formed while nursing cannot be expressed in words. But sometimes I blush at the thought of talking about it.
I know that not all mothers can or choose to breastfeed. I have a good friend who cannot, I in no way think that she is a lesser mother because of it. I also do not judge those who choose not to breastfeed. It is a choice. It defiantly has some drawbacks. I mean I am envious of those bottle feeding mothers who can roll over at the 2 a.m. feeding and say to their husband "Your turn" and go back to sleep. My husband got up and helped those first few weeks at the feedings, but that help sometimes consisted of sleeping on the floor while I tried to stay awake and nurse the baby. But my own personal viewpoint is that I am grateful for the opportunity to breastfeed. Now back to the cover.
I personally find the cover picture disturbing to me. I think he is too old, but if she wants to breastfeed her child that long, it really doesn't affect me. But what does affect me is the potential backlash against breastfeeding mothers this cover may generate. It is already hard enough to nurse in public. I mean I have a nursing wrap that I use, so nothing can be seen. And while no one has ever commented to me regarding my nursing I do often get dirty looks and a lot of staring. And my son is only 7 months old. The real story we as a country should be discussing is the low breastfeeding numbers, not this crazy cover. I found a breast feeding report card on the CDC website here http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/reportcard2.htm
According to the CDC in 2011 less than 25% of infants were breastfed for 12 months, in Florida that number is less than 21%. And less than 15% nationally are exclusively breastfed at 6 months. Considering the extensive health benefits that have been shown to come from breastfeeding these numbers are shockingly low. Wouldn't our time be better spent trying to find ways to encourage our women to breastfeed and giving them access to the resources necessary to succeed? I was blessed, breastfeeding came very easily to me and my children. Eden had difficulty at first, but I was lucky and a lactation consultant came and we never had an issue after that. Elijah nursed like there was no tomorrow. I know that is not always the case, but I also know that not all women are fortunate enough to have access to support.
There is also a disturbing lack of access to areas conducive to nursing and/or pumping. I went back to work when Eden was 6 months old, but I was determined to nurse her for the recommended 12 months. I pumped religiously multiple times during the day. I was lucky, I had an office with a door that locked. I also was fortunate to work for the Health Department who was very understanding about my need to pump regularly. I was never given a hard time for pumping or questioned about it. In this country it is acceptable to give people frequent cigarette breaks but not every company is as accommodating for pumping mothers. How messed up is that? I have also been forced to pump while in a restroom, because there was no other option. I try very hard to be respectful of others around me and be discreet when I nurse or pump, but I will not apologize for nursing my baby. The point of my rambling post is that breastfeeding should not be seen as disgusting or inappropriate. We should encourage and support women who want to breastfeed no matter how long they choose to do so. I try not to judge a group of people by the fanatics. No one would want to be judged that way. I hope that people do not judge breastfeeding by the Time cover. Not all of us are breastfeeding until the age of four, and most importantly not all of us are ok being photographed doing so. Most of us are just making the best decision for ourselves and our baby that we can. So please don't stare at me like I am flashing Mardi Gras floats for beads when I am nursing my son. And yes I am aware that he slurps very loudly, he's a growing boy.
Monday, May 7, 2012
What I want for Mother's Day
My first official Mother's Day when Eden was born was quite interesting. Elliott was sure to not forget, though I think he went shopping the day before but hey that's pretty good for him. I was excited, I had just started back to work and was feeling depressed. So I was so excited to see what thoughtful presents Elliott had gotten me and to bask in my new motherhood. I couldn't wait to get one of the flowers they always hand out to the mom's on Mother's Day at church. It started with three different cards. One from him, one from Eden and one funny card. Okay a little strange, but thoughtful. Then I open the first present.... a counter top chopper with a note that says "Now you can make me my own food, Love Eden". Okay not terrible but not particularly inspired. Maybe it will be better with the last one which is bigger. I tear open the package to find a meat grinder attachment for my Kitchen Aide mixer. Um..... a meat grinder? What am I going to do with that? Let's just say I have never had an overwhelming desire to grind my own meat and that I was not happy. I tried to act like I liked it, but I just couldn't. I ended up returning it and using the money towards buying a Nintendo Wii. So Mother's Day is a week away and Elliott keeps asking me what do you want?
I have been thinking hard about this and for the first time cannot think of much. Shocking I know. I already have the biggest gift I could have ever gotten. I have to opportunity to stay at home with my children. Sometimes in the midst of the tantrums and chores I forget how truly blessed I am to have this opportunity. Sometimes I get caught up in the daily grind and forget to just stop and say 'Wow, I would have missed this if I still worked." With all of the recent buzz about stay at home versus working moms I actually stopped to think about how lucky I am. Comparing my life now to when I was working has given me a new perspective. No not everyday at home is good. It is not all sunshine and rainbows, some are down right not fun, but my worst days at home are still better than my best days at work. I get the opportunity to see all of the milestones that Elijah achieves. I get to see how amazing Eden's imagination and vocabulary has gotten. I have the privilege of being there when they "get it" for the first time. Whether it's Eden learning a new letter to Elijah using a sippy cup for the first time, I get to be there. Perhaps most importantly is just getting the time to spend with them, even if we aren't doing anything more exciting than going to the grocery store. What an amazing gift being a mother is all by itself. I know how hard it is to have to get up and got to work every morning and drop your baby off at daycare. Even after three years I would sometimes cry in my car on the way to work. I know how hard it is to be sick and still have to drag yourself up in the morning because your kids won't feed themselves.I know how hard it is to have to undo some of the bad behaviors they have learned form other kids at daycare. I also know how hard it is to maintain the good habits and structure that day care gave them. Neither is all good or all bad. Being a working mother is hard, being a stay at home mother is hard. They have different challenges, but the goal is the same: to be a good mother.
One of my favorite quotes comes from my all time favorite movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." How true this is. So the thing I want for Mother's Day this year I already have. I have the chance to stop and look around and enjoy my children. Now it's up to me to take advantage of that opportunity and not squander it. To remember that these days will be gone sooner than I think. To make sure that that I take all the joy that motherhood has to offer. To all the mom's out there, Happy Mother's Day. Take the opportunity this Mother's Day to stop and look around. Enjoy the things that will eventually go too fast. And someone please tell my husband that he can't go wrong with some Godiva chocolates.
I have been thinking hard about this and for the first time cannot think of much. Shocking I know. I already have the biggest gift I could have ever gotten. I have to opportunity to stay at home with my children. Sometimes in the midst of the tantrums and chores I forget how truly blessed I am to have this opportunity. Sometimes I get caught up in the daily grind and forget to just stop and say 'Wow, I would have missed this if I still worked." With all of the recent buzz about stay at home versus working moms I actually stopped to think about how lucky I am. Comparing my life now to when I was working has given me a new perspective. No not everyday at home is good. It is not all sunshine and rainbows, some are down right not fun, but my worst days at home are still better than my best days at work. I get the opportunity to see all of the milestones that Elijah achieves. I get to see how amazing Eden's imagination and vocabulary has gotten. I have the privilege of being there when they "get it" for the first time. Whether it's Eden learning a new letter to Elijah using a sippy cup for the first time, I get to be there. Perhaps most importantly is just getting the time to spend with them, even if we aren't doing anything more exciting than going to the grocery store. What an amazing gift being a mother is all by itself. I know how hard it is to have to get up and got to work every morning and drop your baby off at daycare. Even after three years I would sometimes cry in my car on the way to work. I know how hard it is to be sick and still have to drag yourself up in the morning because your kids won't feed themselves.I know how hard it is to have to undo some of the bad behaviors they have learned form other kids at daycare. I also know how hard it is to maintain the good habits and structure that day care gave them. Neither is all good or all bad. Being a working mother is hard, being a stay at home mother is hard. They have different challenges, but the goal is the same: to be a good mother.
One of my favorite quotes comes from my all time favorite movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." How true this is. So the thing I want for Mother's Day this year I already have. I have the chance to stop and look around and enjoy my children. Now it's up to me to take advantage of that opportunity and not squander it. To remember that these days will be gone sooner than I think. To make sure that that I take all the joy that motherhood has to offer. To all the mom's out there, Happy Mother's Day. Take the opportunity this Mother's Day to stop and look around. Enjoy the things that will eventually go too fast. And someone please tell my husband that he can't go wrong with some Godiva chocolates.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Hello! My Name is Bucky?
Last week while shopping for Easter supplies at JoAnn's my daughter was standing on the front of the cart. She started yelling "Full speed ahead Bucky!" Bucky? Who the hell is Bucky? Apparently Bucky is me. Now I have been called a lot of things, some of which are not appropriate for this blog but I have to admit that Bucky was a new one. I learned that Bucky is the name of the ship in Jake and the Neverland Pirates, her newest obsession. So for the entire rest of the store visit she yelled things like "Go right Bucky!" and "Bucky you aren't listening very well!". This funny little exchange made me start thinking about all of my "names". You know mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend and sometimes last on the list, but it shouldn't be is Erin. Yes, my name is Erin. I might answer to "mommy" or as Eden usually calls me "mother" but I am still me. Too often as mother's I think we subjugate who we are and what we enjoy for our families. Now I am not saying that we don't as mother's have to make sacrifices, but I am starting to realize the importance of carving out a little me time. I used to feel insanely guilty about taking some time for myself to do whatever. And sometimes I still do. You know those elusive minutes when both your kids are napping or at least pretending to nap and therefore not with you. How many of us are tempted to start catching up on other chores? There is always that load of laundry or in my case that mountain of laundry that is calling your name. I am slowly learning that those minutes may be spent well catching up on laundry but just as important is to seize those minutes for yourself. I admit that sometimes when my kids are both asleep or at least quiet that I just sit and stare at the wall and enjoy the quiet. Sometimes I get really crazy and sit down with lunch and a book and read. A real book, not a parenting book. The guilt still tugs at me when the kids are up and the fray begins again and I have to somehow figure out how to do the dishes one handed because Elijah doesn't want to be put down. But I am starting to realize that I am a better mom if I take some time and recharge.
I will also admit that I used to judge other mom's who got this idea. I would see them taking time for themselves and thought it must be nice to be a slacker mom. I also somehow thought that giving up every waking minute to my family somehow made me a better mother. I apologize to those women, I was so wrong. Apparently in my self righteous delusion I thought that being miserable somehow meant I was doing it right. I heard someone say that blogs are self indulgent. And it's true it is. But you know what I've decided I'm ok with that. I will indulge myself and take a little time for myself. Otherwise I might start thinking my name was Bucky and then where would I be?
I will also admit that I used to judge other mom's who got this idea. I would see them taking time for themselves and thought it must be nice to be a slacker mom. I also somehow thought that giving up every waking minute to my family somehow made me a better mother. I apologize to those women, I was so wrong. Apparently in my self righteous delusion I thought that being miserable somehow meant I was doing it right. I heard someone say that blogs are self indulgent. And it's true it is. But you know what I've decided I'm ok with that. I will indulge myself and take a little time for myself. Otherwise I might start thinking my name was Bucky and then where would I be?
Thursday, March 22, 2012
The beginning...
The beginning of my daughters journey to make me feel old began last Thursday. My parents, my sister Megan and my brother Zack were down visiting and we went to the county fair. Last year Eden could ride most of the kiddie rides but needed an adult for some of them. This year she was tall enough to ride all the kiddie rides alone and most of the adult rides with an adult. But that is not what made me feel old. Most of my friends know I love roller coasters, love, love, love them. I am also a fan of most carnival rides. Most because I don't do those totally crazy ones that hang you upside down while you spin. The only time I have ever gotten motion sick was on a cruise boat, little boats don't bother me and when I was pregnant. No, I am not pregnant, let's just get that out of the way. But last Thursday I got totally motion sick. So motion sick that I threw up all night long. Eden however was fine. In fact she got upset when the rides ended. Me on the other hand had to work very hard to keep from puking on the storm. Good thing I had all that practice with morning sickness. So my four year old daughter out- rode her mom at the county fair. Is this the beginning of the end? I guess it could have been food poisoning too. Now that I think about it I like that idea. Maybe it doesn't mean I'm getting old, lol.
Eden is so precocious. We were at Lowe's the other day and she sees a pair of Disney princess gardening gloves, of which she already has a pair. She says she needs another one. I tell her, you already have those. To which she informs me that "I need them, you know why? Because I am going to get pregnant and I need to save them for my little baby." WHAT????? She is already planning her pregnancy? At Publix the other day she asks me "Mom, can I have a magazine about makeup?" My reply was "No way, you are four. You don't get to wear makeup." She is in such a hurry to grow up, and I know all kids are. I just want to tell her to slow down, being a grown up will come soon enough. And trust me there will be days when you wish you could be a kid again. But somehow I don't think she would listen to me.
Eden is so precocious. We were at Lowe's the other day and she sees a pair of Disney princess gardening gloves, of which she already has a pair. She says she needs another one. I tell her, you already have those. To which she informs me that "I need them, you know why? Because I am going to get pregnant and I need to save them for my little baby." WHAT????? She is already planning her pregnancy? At Publix the other day she asks me "Mom, can I have a magazine about makeup?" My reply was "No way, you are four. You don't get to wear makeup." She is in such a hurry to grow up, and I know all kids are. I just want to tell her to slow down, being a grown up will come soon enough. And trust me there will be days when you wish you could be a kid again. But somehow I don't think she would listen to me.
Friday, March 9, 2012
The question is...
How many times can a relatively sane adult watch episodes of Curious George before they lose the tenuous grip on reality that they are clinging to? The answer may be somewhere around 32. Eden woke up with a stomach bug that resulted in lots of puking yesterday. In order to keep her quiet and entertained she got to watch TV all day. Really isn't that one of the benefits of being sick? But as a result she watched Curious George all day long. Now I am a fan of the PBS show, I really am. They teach simple lessons, they are cute, and the animation isn't too fast. But seriously who puts a monkey in charge of a candy store? I mean that's just ridiculous. Even more ridiculous is that I have wasted time contemplating this question. This is a dangerous path to go down. Next thing you know you find yourself shushing your four year old because she is talking and you really want to hear the end of Barbie Princess Charm School. Don't judge, I had been forced to watch the beginning multiple times, and I wanted to see the end.
We tried really hard when Eden was little to limit her TV time. In fact she didn't watch any TV until 18 months. Really she didn't. Yes, I know that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children watch no TV until age 2. We almost made it but then we had to drive to Orlando in the day and we broke down and got a DVD player for the car. But poor Eli is not so lucky. He is obsessed with watching the TV. I try to limit his exposure, but I can't never let Eden watch TV. Quite honestly sometimes I need a break and a good bribe.
Some of you may not know that when we moved into our house almost two years ago (I can't believe it's been that long either) we did not turn on the cable or get a dish. That's right we don't even have rabbit ears. Now I still watch my favorite shows on hulu, but we don't have normal TV. Almost two years later and you know what; I think it was one of the best decisions we have ever made. Not only do I get to control what Eden watches, but the temptation to veg out in front of the TV after the kids go to bed isn't as strong. This in no way means that Eden is not totally obsessed with TV, she is. But at least I can decide what she watches. Now some of you may be offended at my next statement. Please don't be, it is just my opinion. Words cannot describe how much I dislike Spongebob Square Pants. I think it is stupid, offensive and makes my kid dumber for having watched it. So I do not allow her to watch Spongebob, and because we do not have TV, she doesn't turn on the TV and find it on. And as an added bonus there are no commercials. This is amazing. Eden begs for enough stuff when we go to the store, but at least I don't have to hear about what she wants at home because she saw it on TV. Now if I could just get the veggie tales songs out of my head and figure out why someone sends a monkey in a submarine to find a splashed down satellite I will have some sanity back.
We tried really hard when Eden was little to limit her TV time. In fact she didn't watch any TV until 18 months. Really she didn't. Yes, I know that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children watch no TV until age 2. We almost made it but then we had to drive to Orlando in the day and we broke down and got a DVD player for the car. But poor Eli is not so lucky. He is obsessed with watching the TV. I try to limit his exposure, but I can't never let Eden watch TV. Quite honestly sometimes I need a break and a good bribe.
Some of you may not know that when we moved into our house almost two years ago (I can't believe it's been that long either) we did not turn on the cable or get a dish. That's right we don't even have rabbit ears. Now I still watch my favorite shows on hulu, but we don't have normal TV. Almost two years later and you know what; I think it was one of the best decisions we have ever made. Not only do I get to control what Eden watches, but the temptation to veg out in front of the TV after the kids go to bed isn't as strong. This in no way means that Eden is not totally obsessed with TV, she is. But at least I can decide what she watches. Now some of you may be offended at my next statement. Please don't be, it is just my opinion. Words cannot describe how much I dislike Spongebob Square Pants. I think it is stupid, offensive and makes my kid dumber for having watched it. So I do not allow her to watch Spongebob, and because we do not have TV, she doesn't turn on the TV and find it on. And as an added bonus there are no commercials. This is amazing. Eden begs for enough stuff when we go to the store, but at least I don't have to hear about what she wants at home because she saw it on TV. Now if I could just get the veggie tales songs out of my head and figure out why someone sends a monkey in a submarine to find a splashed down satellite I will have some sanity back.
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