I Choose Breastfeeding

I have been proud of some of my clever titles for this blog. I could not however think of a clever title for this entry. Ok, that's not exactly true. I could think of lots, just none were particularly appropriate.
I am sure most of you have seen the new Times magazine cover. You know the one with the almost four year old standing on a chair to breastfeed from his mother. I know that a lot of my friends have been talking about it. I will admit that I have a hard time talking about breastfeeding sometimes. I am a huge breastfeeding advocate. I think it is not only an amazingly healthy thing to do for your child but I personally have found it to be an incredibly moving spiritual experience as well. For me, the bond formed while nursing cannot be expressed in words. But sometimes I blush at the thought of talking about it.
I know that not all mothers can or choose to breastfeed. I have a good friend who cannot, I in no way think that she is a lesser mother because of it. I also do not judge those who choose not to breastfeed. It is a choice. It defiantly has some drawbacks. I mean I am envious of those bottle feeding mothers who can roll over at the 2 a.m. feeding and say to their husband "Your turn" and go back to sleep. My husband got up and helped those first few weeks at the feedings, but that help sometimes consisted of sleeping on the floor while I tried to stay awake and nurse the baby. But my own personal viewpoint is that I am grateful for the opportunity to breastfeed. Now back to the cover.
I personally find the cover picture disturbing to me. I think he is too old, but if she wants to breastfeed her child that long, it really doesn't affect me. But what does affect me is the potential backlash against breastfeeding mothers this cover may generate. It is already hard enough to nurse in public. I mean I have a nursing wrap that I use, so nothing can be seen. And while no one has ever commented to me regarding my nursing I do often get dirty looks and a lot of staring. And my son is only 7 months old. The real story we as a country should be discussing is the low breastfeeding numbers, not this crazy cover. I found a breast feeding report card on the CDC website here http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/reportcard2.htm 
According to the CDC in 2011 less than 25% of infants were breastfed for 12 months, in Florida that number is less than 21%. And less than 15% nationally are exclusively breastfed at 6 months. Considering the extensive health benefits that have been shown to come from breastfeeding these numbers are shockingly low. Wouldn't our time be better spent trying to find ways to encourage our women to breastfeed and giving them access to the resources necessary to succeed? I was blessed, breastfeeding came very easily to me and my children. Eden had difficulty at first, but I was lucky and a lactation consultant came and we never had an issue after that. Elijah nursed like there was no tomorrow. I know that is not always the case, but I also know that not all women are fortunate enough to have access to support.
There is also a disturbing lack of access to areas conducive to nursing and/or pumping. I went back to work when Eden was 6 months old, but I was determined to nurse her for the recommended 12 months. I pumped religiously multiple times during the day. I was lucky, I had an office with a door that locked. I also was fortunate to work for the Health Department who was very understanding about my need to pump regularly. I was never given a hard time for pumping or questioned about it. In this country it is acceptable to give people frequent cigarette breaks but not every company is as accommodating for pumping mothers. How messed up is that? I have also been forced to pump while in a restroom, because there was no other option. I try very hard to be respectful of others around me and be discreet when I nurse or pump, but I will not apologize for nursing my baby. The point of my rambling post is that breastfeeding should not be seen as disgusting or inappropriate. We should encourage and support women who want to breastfeed no matter how long they choose to do so. I try not to judge a group of people by the fanatics. No one would want to be judged that way.  I hope that people do not judge breastfeeding by the Time cover. Not all of us are breastfeeding until the age of four, and most importantly not all of us are ok being photographed doing so. Most of us are just making the best decision for ourselves and our baby that we can. So please don't stare at me like I am flashing Mardi Gras floats for beads when I am nursing my son. And yes I am aware that he slurps very loudly, he's a growing boy.

What I want for Mother's Day

My first official Mother's Day when Eden was born was quite interesting. Elliott was sure to not forget, though I think he went shopping the day before but hey that's pretty good for him. I was excited, I had just started back to work and was feeling depressed. So I was so excited to see what thoughtful presents Elliott had gotten me and to bask in my new motherhood. I couldn't wait to get one of the flowers they always hand out to the mom's on Mother's Day at church. It started with three different cards. One from him, one from Eden and one funny card. Okay a little strange, but thoughtful. Then I open the first present.... a counter top chopper with a note that says "Now you can make me my own food, Love Eden". Okay not terrible but not particularly inspired. Maybe it will be better with the last one which is bigger. I tear open the package to find a meat grinder attachment for my Kitchen Aide mixer. Um..... a meat grinder? What am I going to do with that? Let's just say I have never had an overwhelming desire to grind my own meat and that I was not happy. I tried to act like I liked it, but I just couldn't. I ended up returning it and using the money towards buying a Nintendo Wii. So Mother's Day is a week away and Elliott keeps asking me what do you want?

I have been thinking hard about this and for the first time cannot think of much. Shocking I know. I already have the biggest gift I could have ever gotten. I have to opportunity to stay at home with my children. Sometimes in the midst of the tantrums and chores I forget how truly blessed I am to have this opportunity. Sometimes I get caught up in the daily grind and forget to just stop and say 'Wow, I would have missed this if I still worked." With all of the recent buzz about stay at home versus working moms I actually stopped to think about how lucky I am. Comparing my life now to when I was working has given me a new perspective. No not everyday at home is good. It is not all sunshine and rainbows, some are down right not fun, but my worst days at home are still better than my best days at work. I get the opportunity to see all of the milestones that Elijah achieves. I get to see how amazing Eden's imagination and vocabulary has gotten. I have the privilege of being there when they "get it" for the first time. Whether it's Eden learning a new letter to Elijah using a sippy cup for the first time, I get to be there.  Perhaps most importantly is just getting the time to spend with them, even if we aren't doing anything more exciting than going to the grocery store. What an amazing gift being a mother is all by itself. I know how hard it is to have to get up and got to work every morning and drop your baby off at daycare. Even after three years I would sometimes cry in my car on the way to work. I know how hard it is to be sick and still have to drag yourself up in the morning because your kids won't feed themselves.I know how hard it is to have to undo some of the bad behaviors they have learned form other kids at daycare. I also know how hard it is to maintain the good habits and structure that day care gave them. Neither is all good or all bad. Being a working mother is hard, being a stay at home mother is hard. They have different challenges, but the goal is the same: to be a good mother.

One of my favorite quotes comes from my all time favorite movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." How true this is. So the thing I want for Mother's Day this year I already have. I have the chance to stop and look around and enjoy my children. Now it's up to me to take advantage of that opportunity and not squander it. To remember that these days will be gone sooner than I think. To make sure that that I take all the joy that motherhood has to offer. To all the mom's out there, Happy Mother's Day. Take the opportunity this Mother's Day to stop and look around. Enjoy the things that will eventually go too fast. And someone please tell my husband that he can't go wrong with some Godiva chocolates.