So it's Been a year and a half.... maybe more.
So I utterly and truly stink at this blogging thing. It isn't that I don't think about it, I do. I often plan the blog posts in my head, but I never seem to be able to find the time to record them. Oh, well. I am going to do what I can do. Seeing as there are very few followers this blog is mostly for me anyways. :)
So life here has been crazy, hectic, and busy. We are in the last week of summer and Eden is getting ready to enter the first grade. I know I often have to pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming that she really has turned into this amazing beautiful girl. As part of our end of the summer week Eden is having a sleepover with her BFFTS Audrey. For those of you who may not be sure as to what that acronym means it is: Best Friends Forever Twin Sisters. The two of them have decided that best friends forever is not enough, and that they also need to strive to be twin sisters. I will admit it was cute the first time they said it but after about a hundred repetitions I have to admit it is getting a little creepy. :) Point is though that she is getting to have her best friend spend the night and couldn't be happier. It was important for her to be happy this week as much as possible because Elliott is out of town. He is in Seattle living it up in glamorous child free nights. Just kidding he is working grueling 12 hour days trying to get the part he is testing finished. Worst part is he will miss the first day of school. Eden was crushed, and to be honest I wasn't thrilled either. The transition to school is hard enough with both of us, it is a bit overwhelming by myself. Eden has her meet and greet with her new teacher tomorrow, so hopefully that will help her to become more excited and less anxious about starting a new school year.
Eli is coming into his toddlerhood with a ferocious zeal for destruction. He will be three next month and he is all boy. His favorite past times are destroying things his sister builds/makes, annoying his sister, playing with his toy tools, climbing on his sister, and sometimes playing with his animals. Notice that most of his favorite things to do revolve around irritating his sister. I have a feeling that Eden going back to school is going to be hardest on him. In other exciting news of toddlers Eli is finally potty training. I know it seems a little late but I just don't think he was quite ready. After doing fairly well for the past few days we have had a bit of a setback today. I think it has more to do with Eden having a friend over, than him not wanting to go on the potty. We have had three accidents since he got up from his nap alone including one where he pooped on the bathroom floor. In his defense he felt really bad about it, and ten minutes later pooped on the potty. How is that for excitement? Yeah, that is how we roll. Nothing but high quality excitement for us. If you had asked me 7 years ago before I had Eden if I would ever spend a majority of my day talking about, thinking about, and tracking my toddlers potty habits, I might have told you that you were nuts. But the truth is I couldn't be happier. It isn't perfect here, in fact most of the time I seriously consider myself insane for taking on this thing called motherhood. Especially when the kids are complaining that they are miserable and that I am just so mean, because I won't let them eat candy for dinner and destroy the house. They also especially despise the whole cleaning phenomenon I have been trying to get on board with. Not that I blame them, I truly loathe cleaning, but I am trying to at least keep the house in a semi state of disarray as opposed to complete destruction. But overall I look at my crazy silly life, and think how lucky I am to have these days with them. That these days are fleeting and that before I know it they will be grown and not want to snuggle with mom on the couch during family movie night.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Thankful
I never did the thankful days on Facebook so I decided that today would be a good day to get caught up. So without further ado here are my thankful days:
1. I am thankful for my husband. Those of you who know me pretty well know that I am not a mushy person but here goes. Meeting my husband transformed my life. If not for him, I would not be where I am today. There was a time when I could not have imagined my life as it is today. But meeting Elliott changed all that. I am so blessed to have married a man who loves me unconditionally and that believes I am the most beautiful woman in the world. There is no one else that I would want to be sealed to for time and all eternity.
2. I will be eternally grateful for my two beautiful children. The joy and laughter is worth all of the pain and fighting a thousand times over. I am not sure what I did to deserve them or why they chose our family, but I will never be able to say thank you enough for them.
3. I am grateful for my amazing parents. I never appreciated how hard their lives must have been with all five of us. I only have a tiny taste in my two. Thank you for giving me such an amazing example of which to emulate I am your biggest fan.
4. I am grateful for my siblings. I am so lucky to be such good friends with my brothers and sisters. This is a testament to my parents as well, that they managed to raise five of us and not a social deviant in the bunch. I am grateful for the love and support that my family has shown me.
5. I am grateful for my friends. I have made some amazing friends this year. To all of my friends you are an inspiration to me. Words cannot describe how comforting it is to have friends that I can depend on to be there for me and my family.
6. I am grateful for my savior and the sacrifice he made for me. It has been a long journey for me to where I am today with my faith, and there is much to go still. But I don't think anyone who knew me ten years ago could have imagined my life today.
7. I am grateful for my house. Yes, it is blue and a little bit ugly. But I love my little piece of the wilderness. There are more stars than I ever remembered visible out there. My favorite part is the quiet. Outside at night the only sounds are those of the forest. Love it.
8. I am grateful for my husbands job. It has allowed us to make the huge transition from being a two parent working family to one with a stay at home mom. It has been hard but I realize I will never get these days back. They are priceless and worth every financial sacrifice we have made.
9. I am thankful for my kids dancing. They have some moves that should be illegal, but every time they dance I see the joy that can only be expressed in the eyes of a child.
10. I am thankful for chocolate. It has been a wonderful companion in times of sadness and happiness.
11. I am thankful for living in Florida. It is a crazy state, but I love all of the different activities that are accessible to us here. Plus I hate the cold, not cool weather but the bitter cold that comes in winter.
12. I am thankful for books, they transport me to places that I would not otherwise be able to visit. They entertain me and my children.
13. I am thankful for the holidays. They are my favorite time of year, and I just love the opportunity to spend them with people I love.
14. I am thankful for my moms pumpkin bread. It is delicious and I cannot stop eating it.
15. I am thankful for our rebel T2i. I love that camera it lets us capture memories that are priceless.
16. I am thankful for the laughter that at times seems to infect my home. There truly is no better sound than the laughter of the ones you love.
17. I am thankful for my garden tub. I don't use it very often, but just knowing that I have a deep soaking tub that I can escape to if I ever find the time is sometimes enough.
18. I am grateful for anyone who reads this blog. I am trying to be more consistent but I am amazed that anyone reads my rambling thoughts.
19. I am grateful for my car. I love that it is big enough for our growing family, and has room to haul all our stuff.
20. I am thankful that my kids still like to snuggle. Even if it is pre-dawn snuggles it is still amazing to cuddle the two most cuddly children ever.
21. I am thankful for play. Playing with my kids and my husband is one of my greatest joys. I am constantly amazed at their imagination and creativity. Plus my husband is like a big kid and that makes playing games as a family too much fun.
22. I am grateful for all the little things. All of the little things that make me smile and bring joy to my days. James Bond, Glee, NCIS, Harry Potter, a great song. These are just a few. Enjoying them with my friends and family make life great. Life is fun and filled with joy and it should be. 2012 was filled with challenges new and old, but I think that 2012 was a great year so far and I am thankful for every year I get.
1. I am thankful for my husband. Those of you who know me pretty well know that I am not a mushy person but here goes. Meeting my husband transformed my life. If not for him, I would not be where I am today. There was a time when I could not have imagined my life as it is today. But meeting Elliott changed all that. I am so blessed to have married a man who loves me unconditionally and that believes I am the most beautiful woman in the world. There is no one else that I would want to be sealed to for time and all eternity.
2. I will be eternally grateful for my two beautiful children. The joy and laughter is worth all of the pain and fighting a thousand times over. I am not sure what I did to deserve them or why they chose our family, but I will never be able to say thank you enough for them.
3. I am grateful for my amazing parents. I never appreciated how hard their lives must have been with all five of us. I only have a tiny taste in my two. Thank you for giving me such an amazing example of which to emulate I am your biggest fan.
4. I am grateful for my siblings. I am so lucky to be such good friends with my brothers and sisters. This is a testament to my parents as well, that they managed to raise five of us and not a social deviant in the bunch. I am grateful for the love and support that my family has shown me.
5. I am grateful for my friends. I have made some amazing friends this year. To all of my friends you are an inspiration to me. Words cannot describe how comforting it is to have friends that I can depend on to be there for me and my family.
6. I am grateful for my savior and the sacrifice he made for me. It has been a long journey for me to where I am today with my faith, and there is much to go still. But I don't think anyone who knew me ten years ago could have imagined my life today.
7. I am grateful for my house. Yes, it is blue and a little bit ugly. But I love my little piece of the wilderness. There are more stars than I ever remembered visible out there. My favorite part is the quiet. Outside at night the only sounds are those of the forest. Love it.
8. I am grateful for my husbands job. It has allowed us to make the huge transition from being a two parent working family to one with a stay at home mom. It has been hard but I realize I will never get these days back. They are priceless and worth every financial sacrifice we have made.
9. I am thankful for my kids dancing. They have some moves that should be illegal, but every time they dance I see the joy that can only be expressed in the eyes of a child.
10. I am thankful for chocolate. It has been a wonderful companion in times of sadness and happiness.
11. I am thankful for living in Florida. It is a crazy state, but I love all of the different activities that are accessible to us here. Plus I hate the cold, not cool weather but the bitter cold that comes in winter.
12. I am thankful for books, they transport me to places that I would not otherwise be able to visit. They entertain me and my children.
13. I am thankful for the holidays. They are my favorite time of year, and I just love the opportunity to spend them with people I love.
14. I am thankful for my moms pumpkin bread. It is delicious and I cannot stop eating it.
15. I am thankful for our rebel T2i. I love that camera it lets us capture memories that are priceless.
16. I am thankful for the laughter that at times seems to infect my home. There truly is no better sound than the laughter of the ones you love.
17. I am thankful for my garden tub. I don't use it very often, but just knowing that I have a deep soaking tub that I can escape to if I ever find the time is sometimes enough.
18. I am grateful for anyone who reads this blog. I am trying to be more consistent but I am amazed that anyone reads my rambling thoughts.
19. I am grateful for my car. I love that it is big enough for our growing family, and has room to haul all our stuff.
20. I am thankful that my kids still like to snuggle. Even if it is pre-dawn snuggles it is still amazing to cuddle the two most cuddly children ever.
21. I am thankful for play. Playing with my kids and my husband is one of my greatest joys. I am constantly amazed at their imagination and creativity. Plus my husband is like a big kid and that makes playing games as a family too much fun.
22. I am grateful for all the little things. All of the little things that make me smile and bring joy to my days. James Bond, Glee, NCIS, Harry Potter, a great song. These are just a few. Enjoying them with my friends and family make life great. Life is fun and filled with joy and it should be. 2012 was filled with challenges new and old, but I think that 2012 was a great year so far and I am thankful for every year I get.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Halloween Spectacular
I never seem to post enough, again it seems life just gets in the way. I am going to try and post a few pictures from our Halloween spectacular. Halloween was a long day. Eden went to school where she had her Halloween party. I got to hang out with my sister Megan who had come down for the big event. After we picked up Eden we met daddy and had lunch with our good friend Tonya. The kids didn't eat much probably because they had scarfed down enough sweets from the party but it was still fun. Then we went to Tonya's to hang out until the big night began. Tonya made us enchilada's which were super yummy! After dinner we got costumed up. For the Branch Halloween party Elijah was the little old man form the Disney movie UP. He was soo cute. Elliott made him a little walker out of pvc pipe. I have to admit I was a little miffed he didn't win a prize in the costume contest, but I will get over it, lol. For the big night, however we decided it was not feasible to drag that thing around so he went as a spider. And yes it was the same spider costume Eden wore for her first Halloween.
Elijah in his UP costume.
My fairy princess!
Here are the kids getting ready for the big night!
Once trick or treating began it was a marathon. We had intended to limit the trick or treating to only an hour and a half, but the kids were having so much fun I didn't have the heart to make them stop, so we ended up out way later than we had planned. We started out together, but after some falls it ended up just being Eden, Audrey (the green dinosaur), Elijah, Aunt Mae Mae, Daddy and me. About halfway through Elijah went to a stroller and rode in style.Elijah took the whole night in stride. He was mildly curious about all of the people dressed up, but considering he was up way past his normal bedtime, he was amazing. Of course it helped that Aunt Mae Mae kept feeding him candy all night! The kids collected an enormous amount of candy which I am munching on as I type this. Hey, I earned it. The girls were especially funny as they were so excited. Most people had tables set up in the driveway to hand out the candy, but some decided to brave having people knock on the door. The girls would occasionally run right by the tables to get to the door. This was especially brave with our girls who would peer through the windows and scream in delight when someone would come to the door. My favorite part was when the door was opened and in their excitement to get candy the girls would almost barge right in like little tiny cute home invaders. We also had some discussions about impulse control and only taking a reasonable amount of candy. Audrey was especially funny whispering to Elliott once "They didn't tell me I could only have one, so I took three!" The girls seemed intent on making sure one of them ended up in the emergency room as I think they both fell about a hundred times. They were just so excited and having so much fun, that they could not stay on their feet. Although poor Audrey took her first tumble before the festivities began and scraped her nose on the concrete pretty bad. I felt so bad and she has a pretty good bruise and scrape this morning. Here are a few more pics:
The girls could not contain their excitement.
I was especially thrilled for Eden. This was her first real Halloween trick or treating. For all of those who have been to our house, we are the only house on the street and so there isn't much trick or treating out in the woods. She went once when she was almost two with her cousins, but she doesn't remember that. This one she might remember. She had the best time, which is also one of the reasons I had a hard time telling them it was time to stop. I know they were out late, but it is only one night a year, I think I can make an exception. I am so grateful that I have such an amazing friend who let us crash their Halloween in their neighborhood. I think it made the evening so much more special that Eden got to spend it with her best friend. And the best part was that I managed to get both of my kids to take a two hour nap the next day! I am not sure that has happened since Elijah was born! It was a great Halloween and I can honestly say I am looking forward to next year!
Once trick or treating began it was a marathon. We had intended to limit the trick or treating to only an hour and a half, but the kids were having so much fun I didn't have the heart to make them stop, so we ended up out way later than we had planned. We started out together, but after some falls it ended up just being Eden, Audrey (the green dinosaur), Elijah, Aunt Mae Mae, Daddy and me. About halfway through Elijah went to a stroller and rode in style.Elijah took the whole night in stride. He was mildly curious about all of the people dressed up, but considering he was up way past his normal bedtime, he was amazing. Of course it helped that Aunt Mae Mae kept feeding him candy all night! The kids collected an enormous amount of candy which I am munching on as I type this. Hey, I earned it. The girls were especially funny as they were so excited. Most people had tables set up in the driveway to hand out the candy, but some decided to brave having people knock on the door. The girls would occasionally run right by the tables to get to the door. This was especially brave with our girls who would peer through the windows and scream in delight when someone would come to the door. My favorite part was when the door was opened and in their excitement to get candy the girls would almost barge right in like little tiny cute home invaders. We also had some discussions about impulse control and only taking a reasonable amount of candy. Audrey was especially funny whispering to Elliott once "They didn't tell me I could only have one, so I took three!" The girls seemed intent on making sure one of them ended up in the emergency room as I think they both fell about a hundred times. They were just so excited and having so much fun, that they could not stay on their feet. Although poor Audrey took her first tumble before the festivities began and scraped her nose on the concrete pretty bad. I felt so bad and she has a pretty good bruise and scrape this morning. Here are a few more pics:
Audrey and Eden are the best of friends.
Two little peas in a pod.
I was especially thrilled for Eden. This was her first real Halloween trick or treating. For all of those who have been to our house, we are the only house on the street and so there isn't much trick or treating out in the woods. She went once when she was almost two with her cousins, but she doesn't remember that. This one she might remember. She had the best time, which is also one of the reasons I had a hard time telling them it was time to stop. I know they were out late, but it is only one night a year, I think I can make an exception. I am so grateful that I have such an amazing friend who let us crash their Halloween in their neighborhood. I think it made the evening so much more special that Eden got to spend it with her best friend. And the best part was that I managed to get both of my kids to take a two hour nap the next day! I am not sure that has happened since Elijah was born! It was a great Halloween and I can honestly say I am looking forward to next year!
Saturday, September 22, 2012
So it has been a long time since I updated the blog. I wish that life was a little slower so that I could update it more often. But as in the words of Ferris Beuller "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while you could miss it." (That is my all time favorite movie for anyone who doesn't know.) This last Thursday was Elijah's 1st birthday! It was a hard day for me for tow reasons: 1. I don't like my baby growing up so fast and 2. Elliott was out of town. Elliott was in Alaska of all places and originally we had planned to go with him as a family, but again life got in the way. Elliott needed an insulin pump and we needed to buy a new car, so we decided to not go this year. The lightning comittee he serves on goes to Alaska every few years so we will get another chance when the kids are older. I am grateful for my good friend Tonya who spent the day with us and even braved Chik-Fil-A with us and five kids between us. I would have been super sad and lonely that day without her. Our little man seemed very aware that his birthday was a special day for him. Anytime anyone sang Happy Birthday he got all excited, clapped, bounced and smiled form ear to ear. It's bittersweet seeing him grow up. Everyone tells you when you have a baby to cherish the time because it goes so fast. This seems like easy enough advice but how many of us really cherish the time? I know I am guilty of this. It's hard to cherish the time when your children are so wild that they make you want to run away. It's hard to cherish the tantrums and the whining. But we should cherish it. Yes, one day the tantrums will be past, but guess what so will the baby/toddler stage. (yes, I know teenagers have their own set of tantrums.) On his first birthday Elijah did not get something that he wanted and threw himself to the floor kicking and screaming. I admit I laughed a little bit because it was so over the top ridiculous, but it also means that the tantrum phase is starting. I do not enjoy this stage, but I am going to try and cherish it.
As mother's I think we too often get caught up in the competition of everything. Every doctor visit and pretty much every interaction we have with other mothers is characterized by comparing our children.We are constantly comparing them to others development. Now, I'm not saying that this is all bad. If not for the "norms" we wouldn't realize if there were developmental problems. But I do think that all of this competition lends itself to our failing to cherish the little stuff. We get so caught up with "I can't wait until he does this" or "My son is way ahead in this", that we totally miss that we should be enjoying those things. We constantly scour magazines, and books to see what they should be doing by this age. Sometimes we forget to just stop and look around. On Elijah's birthday I took him to the small playground at the mall. He spent the better part of the time there just climbing up and then back down the stairs of the slide. To some this may seem really boring, but because I had nothing else to do I just watched him and marveled at him. He was learning right before my eyes. Seeing his little brain make connections between what he was doing and what he wanted to happen was truly magical. Had I been to busy reading my kindle or texting my friends, I would have missed it. So my advice this time, and it is some that I need to do a better job at heeding is to remember Ferris. "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Because the last thing I want is too look back at this magical time and think "I should have slowed down and enjoyed it more."
As mother's I think we too often get caught up in the competition of everything. Every doctor visit and pretty much every interaction we have with other mothers is characterized by comparing our children.We are constantly comparing them to others development. Now, I'm not saying that this is all bad. If not for the "norms" we wouldn't realize if there were developmental problems. But I do think that all of this competition lends itself to our failing to cherish the little stuff. We get so caught up with "I can't wait until he does this" or "My son is way ahead in this", that we totally miss that we should be enjoying those things. We constantly scour magazines, and books to see what they should be doing by this age. Sometimes we forget to just stop and look around. On Elijah's birthday I took him to the small playground at the mall. He spent the better part of the time there just climbing up and then back down the stairs of the slide. To some this may seem really boring, but because I had nothing else to do I just watched him and marveled at him. He was learning right before my eyes. Seeing his little brain make connections between what he was doing and what he wanted to happen was truly magical. Had I been to busy reading my kindle or texting my friends, I would have missed it. So my advice this time, and it is some that I need to do a better job at heeding is to remember Ferris. "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Because the last thing I want is too look back at this magical time and think "I should have slowed down and enjoyed it more."
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Mom's major mistake
Growing up the oldest of five kids isn't easy. Now I know in the Mormon world 5 kids is pretty normal, but in South Florida it isn't. We were those Van Dyke kids that most people couldn't keep straight. There were definitely advantages to being the oldest. I always got new clothes, I was the first to do most things (sans getting married, thanks Sean), I was in charge and usually the younger ones listened to me. Ok so maybe the only times they really listened is when I had some hair brained plan that I wanted to try, not when I was left in charge. There were, however a few disadvantages. I was supposed to be the example, I usually got in trouble for whatever the little ones did because I should have stopped it, and well being the oldest of five was a lot of pressure to excel. My parents are great parents, amazing parents, they worked miracles with all of us and have turned out five amazing kids. Not a single one of us is a sociopath or criminal. We are all good upstanding citizens and I can say with confidence that I am truly lucky to know them as adults. But the one thing I constantly grew up thinking was that the worst thing about being the oldest was that I was convinced that my parents screwed up on me and then did things better with the younger ones. Now as an adult I know that this comparison is not only untrue, but entirely unfair. But even so that thought still lingers in my mind.
When I had Eden I swore to myself that I was not going to do that to my oldest. I was convinced that being the oldest made me more sensitive to the pressures and stress of being the oldest. And not only that I was not going to treat her any different. I was going to get this parenting thing right the first time around. Flash forward to this week and I am taking Eden to the dentist. She was supposed to get basically a baby root canal on one of her back molars. We have been working on that tooth for over a year and this was supposed to be the solution. Several weeks ago Elliott noticed while brushing her teeth one night that she had a small sore on the gum. She didn't complain about it, and it seemed to be getting better. Plus we had this dentist appointment all lined up. I try to not take my kids to the doctor unless they start complaining about something hurting, are truly sick, or their behavior takes a drastic turn for the worst. Since she wasn't complaining I though it could wait until we went to the dentist. Well turns out that little sore was an abscess which was infected. The infection had spread through the tooth and was sitting on top of her permanent tooth. As a result of this Eden will have to have her back molar pulled and a spacer put in. When the dentist explained this to me I wanted to throw up. Here I was supposed to make sure that I did everything right the first time and I have failed. I didn't take care of her teeth well enough. I know the recommendations are that a child sees a dentist by their first birthday. We didn't take Eden until she was three but to be fair Eden didn't even get any teeth until 15 months. We brush her teeth every night with only the occasional missed night when she falls asleep before. But I failed. I didn't do a good enough job. I compounded my guilt by making sure that I scheduled Elijah for a cleaning when I take Eden in for her next cleaning. He will be 11 months old. And I actually said "I want to make sure I do a better job with him." The one thing I swore I would never do as a parent and there it was.
About now any sane parent is wondering how after being a parent for four years I had not cured myself of the delusion that I was going to get everything right the first time. I mean how many of us have made major mistakes and just hope our kids won't remember when they are adults? I mean Elijah has rolled off the couch not once, not twice, but three times now. In my defense they were not all on my watch and he has a talent for getting around obstacles. Instead of feeling a sense of accomplishment that I am learning from my mistakes and correcting them, I am beating myself up that I didn't catch it in time for Eden, or at least her tooth. It is important as parents that we don't do this to ourselves. I was actually feeling like the worst mother in the world and then I thought about it. Eden got a cavity on a baby tooth, which even though we have been treating it for a little over a year, got infected and now she has to have her tooth pulled. I asked myself was that really the worst thing? I mean look at that mother in Phoenix who smoked so much pot that she forgot her infant on the top of her car and drove off. That is a mother who has some guilt to deal with. My guilt is of my own creation. The thing I should be focusing on is that I now know what to look for and that I can possibly prevent this from happening again. It does not mean that I am a bad parent because I want to be better for my kids in the future. Should I just say oh well, I can't take care of Eijah's teeth better because I didn't for Eden? That would be ridiculous. I think being a good parent is learning from our mistakes and making every effort to do better. I mean isn't that true for life in general?
So for the future I hope that I remember that I am going to make mistakes as a parent. They are inevitable. The key is to make sure that I accept them and learn from them. Hopefully one day Eden will see this and know that I am doing my best not to treat her like an experiment. That I do not just try out stuff on her to see if it works. I am doing my best to get it right the first time. It's hard being the oldest, but it's great too.
When I had Eden I swore to myself that I was not going to do that to my oldest. I was convinced that being the oldest made me more sensitive to the pressures and stress of being the oldest. And not only that I was not going to treat her any different. I was going to get this parenting thing right the first time around. Flash forward to this week and I am taking Eden to the dentist. She was supposed to get basically a baby root canal on one of her back molars. We have been working on that tooth for over a year and this was supposed to be the solution. Several weeks ago Elliott noticed while brushing her teeth one night that she had a small sore on the gum. She didn't complain about it, and it seemed to be getting better. Plus we had this dentist appointment all lined up. I try to not take my kids to the doctor unless they start complaining about something hurting, are truly sick, or their behavior takes a drastic turn for the worst. Since she wasn't complaining I though it could wait until we went to the dentist. Well turns out that little sore was an abscess which was infected. The infection had spread through the tooth and was sitting on top of her permanent tooth. As a result of this Eden will have to have her back molar pulled and a spacer put in. When the dentist explained this to me I wanted to throw up. Here I was supposed to make sure that I did everything right the first time and I have failed. I didn't take care of her teeth well enough. I know the recommendations are that a child sees a dentist by their first birthday. We didn't take Eden until she was three but to be fair Eden didn't even get any teeth until 15 months. We brush her teeth every night with only the occasional missed night when she falls asleep before. But I failed. I didn't do a good enough job. I compounded my guilt by making sure that I scheduled Elijah for a cleaning when I take Eden in for her next cleaning. He will be 11 months old. And I actually said "I want to make sure I do a better job with him." The one thing I swore I would never do as a parent and there it was.
About now any sane parent is wondering how after being a parent for four years I had not cured myself of the delusion that I was going to get everything right the first time. I mean how many of us have made major mistakes and just hope our kids won't remember when they are adults? I mean Elijah has rolled off the couch not once, not twice, but three times now. In my defense they were not all on my watch and he has a talent for getting around obstacles. Instead of feeling a sense of accomplishment that I am learning from my mistakes and correcting them, I am beating myself up that I didn't catch it in time for Eden, or at least her tooth. It is important as parents that we don't do this to ourselves. I was actually feeling like the worst mother in the world and then I thought about it. Eden got a cavity on a baby tooth, which even though we have been treating it for a little over a year, got infected and now she has to have her tooth pulled. I asked myself was that really the worst thing? I mean look at that mother in Phoenix who smoked so much pot that she forgot her infant on the top of her car and drove off. That is a mother who has some guilt to deal with. My guilt is of my own creation. The thing I should be focusing on is that I now know what to look for and that I can possibly prevent this from happening again. It does not mean that I am a bad parent because I want to be better for my kids in the future. Should I just say oh well, I can't take care of Eijah's teeth better because I didn't for Eden? That would be ridiculous. I think being a good parent is learning from our mistakes and making every effort to do better. I mean isn't that true for life in general?
So for the future I hope that I remember that I am going to make mistakes as a parent. They are inevitable. The key is to make sure that I accept them and learn from them. Hopefully one day Eden will see this and know that I am doing my best not to treat her like an experiment. That I do not just try out stuff on her to see if it works. I am doing my best to get it right the first time. It's hard being the oldest, but it's great too.
Monday, May 14, 2012
I Choose Breastfeeding
I have been proud of some of my clever titles for this blog. I could not however think of a clever title for this entry. Ok, that's not exactly true. I could think of lots, just none were particularly appropriate.
I am sure most of you have seen the new Times magazine cover. You know the one with the almost four year old standing on a chair to breastfeed from his mother. I know that a lot of my friends have been talking about it. I will admit that I have a hard time talking about breastfeeding sometimes. I am a huge breastfeeding advocate. I think it is not only an amazingly healthy thing to do for your child but I personally have found it to be an incredibly moving spiritual experience as well. For me, the bond formed while nursing cannot be expressed in words. But sometimes I blush at the thought of talking about it.
I know that not all mothers can or choose to breastfeed. I have a good friend who cannot, I in no way think that she is a lesser mother because of it. I also do not judge those who choose not to breastfeed. It is a choice. It defiantly has some drawbacks. I mean I am envious of those bottle feeding mothers who can roll over at the 2 a.m. feeding and say to their husband "Your turn" and go back to sleep. My husband got up and helped those first few weeks at the feedings, but that help sometimes consisted of sleeping on the floor while I tried to stay awake and nurse the baby. But my own personal viewpoint is that I am grateful for the opportunity to breastfeed. Now back to the cover.
I personally find the cover picture disturbing to me. I think he is too old, but if she wants to breastfeed her child that long, it really doesn't affect me. But what does affect me is the potential backlash against breastfeeding mothers this cover may generate. It is already hard enough to nurse in public. I mean I have a nursing wrap that I use, so nothing can be seen. And while no one has ever commented to me regarding my nursing I do often get dirty looks and a lot of staring. And my son is only 7 months old. The real story we as a country should be discussing is the low breastfeeding numbers, not this crazy cover. I found a breast feeding report card on the CDC website here http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/reportcard2.htm
According to the CDC in 2011 less than 25% of infants were breastfed for 12 months, in Florida that number is less than 21%. And less than 15% nationally are exclusively breastfed at 6 months. Considering the extensive health benefits that have been shown to come from breastfeeding these numbers are shockingly low. Wouldn't our time be better spent trying to find ways to encourage our women to breastfeed and giving them access to the resources necessary to succeed? I was blessed, breastfeeding came very easily to me and my children. Eden had difficulty at first, but I was lucky and a lactation consultant came and we never had an issue after that. Elijah nursed like there was no tomorrow. I know that is not always the case, but I also know that not all women are fortunate enough to have access to support.
There is also a disturbing lack of access to areas conducive to nursing and/or pumping. I went back to work when Eden was 6 months old, but I was determined to nurse her for the recommended 12 months. I pumped religiously multiple times during the day. I was lucky, I had an office with a door that locked. I also was fortunate to work for the Health Department who was very understanding about my need to pump regularly. I was never given a hard time for pumping or questioned about it. In this country it is acceptable to give people frequent cigarette breaks but not every company is as accommodating for pumping mothers. How messed up is that? I have also been forced to pump while in a restroom, because there was no other option. I try very hard to be respectful of others around me and be discreet when I nurse or pump, but I will not apologize for nursing my baby. The point of my rambling post is that breastfeeding should not be seen as disgusting or inappropriate. We should encourage and support women who want to breastfeed no matter how long they choose to do so. I try not to judge a group of people by the fanatics. No one would want to be judged that way. I hope that people do not judge breastfeeding by the Time cover. Not all of us are breastfeeding until the age of four, and most importantly not all of us are ok being photographed doing so. Most of us are just making the best decision for ourselves and our baby that we can. So please don't stare at me like I am flashing Mardi Gras floats for beads when I am nursing my son. And yes I am aware that he slurps very loudly, he's a growing boy.
I am sure most of you have seen the new Times magazine cover. You know the one with the almost four year old standing on a chair to breastfeed from his mother. I know that a lot of my friends have been talking about it. I will admit that I have a hard time talking about breastfeeding sometimes. I am a huge breastfeeding advocate. I think it is not only an amazingly healthy thing to do for your child but I personally have found it to be an incredibly moving spiritual experience as well. For me, the bond formed while nursing cannot be expressed in words. But sometimes I blush at the thought of talking about it.
I know that not all mothers can or choose to breastfeed. I have a good friend who cannot, I in no way think that she is a lesser mother because of it. I also do not judge those who choose not to breastfeed. It is a choice. It defiantly has some drawbacks. I mean I am envious of those bottle feeding mothers who can roll over at the 2 a.m. feeding and say to their husband "Your turn" and go back to sleep. My husband got up and helped those first few weeks at the feedings, but that help sometimes consisted of sleeping on the floor while I tried to stay awake and nurse the baby. But my own personal viewpoint is that I am grateful for the opportunity to breastfeed. Now back to the cover.
I personally find the cover picture disturbing to me. I think he is too old, but if she wants to breastfeed her child that long, it really doesn't affect me. But what does affect me is the potential backlash against breastfeeding mothers this cover may generate. It is already hard enough to nurse in public. I mean I have a nursing wrap that I use, so nothing can be seen. And while no one has ever commented to me regarding my nursing I do often get dirty looks and a lot of staring. And my son is only 7 months old. The real story we as a country should be discussing is the low breastfeeding numbers, not this crazy cover. I found a breast feeding report card on the CDC website here http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/reportcard2.htm
According to the CDC in 2011 less than 25% of infants were breastfed for 12 months, in Florida that number is less than 21%. And less than 15% nationally are exclusively breastfed at 6 months. Considering the extensive health benefits that have been shown to come from breastfeeding these numbers are shockingly low. Wouldn't our time be better spent trying to find ways to encourage our women to breastfeed and giving them access to the resources necessary to succeed? I was blessed, breastfeeding came very easily to me and my children. Eden had difficulty at first, but I was lucky and a lactation consultant came and we never had an issue after that. Elijah nursed like there was no tomorrow. I know that is not always the case, but I also know that not all women are fortunate enough to have access to support.
There is also a disturbing lack of access to areas conducive to nursing and/or pumping. I went back to work when Eden was 6 months old, but I was determined to nurse her for the recommended 12 months. I pumped religiously multiple times during the day. I was lucky, I had an office with a door that locked. I also was fortunate to work for the Health Department who was very understanding about my need to pump regularly. I was never given a hard time for pumping or questioned about it. In this country it is acceptable to give people frequent cigarette breaks but not every company is as accommodating for pumping mothers. How messed up is that? I have also been forced to pump while in a restroom, because there was no other option. I try very hard to be respectful of others around me and be discreet when I nurse or pump, but I will not apologize for nursing my baby. The point of my rambling post is that breastfeeding should not be seen as disgusting or inappropriate. We should encourage and support women who want to breastfeed no matter how long they choose to do so. I try not to judge a group of people by the fanatics. No one would want to be judged that way. I hope that people do not judge breastfeeding by the Time cover. Not all of us are breastfeeding until the age of four, and most importantly not all of us are ok being photographed doing so. Most of us are just making the best decision for ourselves and our baby that we can. So please don't stare at me like I am flashing Mardi Gras floats for beads when I am nursing my son. And yes I am aware that he slurps very loudly, he's a growing boy.
Monday, May 7, 2012
What I want for Mother's Day
My first official Mother's Day when Eden was born was quite interesting. Elliott was sure to not forget, though I think he went shopping the day before but hey that's pretty good for him. I was excited, I had just started back to work and was feeling depressed. So I was so excited to see what thoughtful presents Elliott had gotten me and to bask in my new motherhood. I couldn't wait to get one of the flowers they always hand out to the mom's on Mother's Day at church. It started with three different cards. One from him, one from Eden and one funny card. Okay a little strange, but thoughtful. Then I open the first present.... a counter top chopper with a note that says "Now you can make me my own food, Love Eden". Okay not terrible but not particularly inspired. Maybe it will be better with the last one which is bigger. I tear open the package to find a meat grinder attachment for my Kitchen Aide mixer. Um..... a meat grinder? What am I going to do with that? Let's just say I have never had an overwhelming desire to grind my own meat and that I was not happy. I tried to act like I liked it, but I just couldn't. I ended up returning it and using the money towards buying a Nintendo Wii. So Mother's Day is a week away and Elliott keeps asking me what do you want?
I have been thinking hard about this and for the first time cannot think of much. Shocking I know. I already have the biggest gift I could have ever gotten. I have to opportunity to stay at home with my children. Sometimes in the midst of the tantrums and chores I forget how truly blessed I am to have this opportunity. Sometimes I get caught up in the daily grind and forget to just stop and say 'Wow, I would have missed this if I still worked." With all of the recent buzz about stay at home versus working moms I actually stopped to think about how lucky I am. Comparing my life now to when I was working has given me a new perspective. No not everyday at home is good. It is not all sunshine and rainbows, some are down right not fun, but my worst days at home are still better than my best days at work. I get the opportunity to see all of the milestones that Elijah achieves. I get to see how amazing Eden's imagination and vocabulary has gotten. I have the privilege of being there when they "get it" for the first time. Whether it's Eden learning a new letter to Elijah using a sippy cup for the first time, I get to be there. Perhaps most importantly is just getting the time to spend with them, even if we aren't doing anything more exciting than going to the grocery store. What an amazing gift being a mother is all by itself. I know how hard it is to have to get up and got to work every morning and drop your baby off at daycare. Even after three years I would sometimes cry in my car on the way to work. I know how hard it is to be sick and still have to drag yourself up in the morning because your kids won't feed themselves.I know how hard it is to have to undo some of the bad behaviors they have learned form other kids at daycare. I also know how hard it is to maintain the good habits and structure that day care gave them. Neither is all good or all bad. Being a working mother is hard, being a stay at home mother is hard. They have different challenges, but the goal is the same: to be a good mother.
One of my favorite quotes comes from my all time favorite movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." How true this is. So the thing I want for Mother's Day this year I already have. I have the chance to stop and look around and enjoy my children. Now it's up to me to take advantage of that opportunity and not squander it. To remember that these days will be gone sooner than I think. To make sure that that I take all the joy that motherhood has to offer. To all the mom's out there, Happy Mother's Day. Take the opportunity this Mother's Day to stop and look around. Enjoy the things that will eventually go too fast. And someone please tell my husband that he can't go wrong with some Godiva chocolates.
I have been thinking hard about this and for the first time cannot think of much. Shocking I know. I already have the biggest gift I could have ever gotten. I have to opportunity to stay at home with my children. Sometimes in the midst of the tantrums and chores I forget how truly blessed I am to have this opportunity. Sometimes I get caught up in the daily grind and forget to just stop and say 'Wow, I would have missed this if I still worked." With all of the recent buzz about stay at home versus working moms I actually stopped to think about how lucky I am. Comparing my life now to when I was working has given me a new perspective. No not everyday at home is good. It is not all sunshine and rainbows, some are down right not fun, but my worst days at home are still better than my best days at work. I get the opportunity to see all of the milestones that Elijah achieves. I get to see how amazing Eden's imagination and vocabulary has gotten. I have the privilege of being there when they "get it" for the first time. Whether it's Eden learning a new letter to Elijah using a sippy cup for the first time, I get to be there. Perhaps most importantly is just getting the time to spend with them, even if we aren't doing anything more exciting than going to the grocery store. What an amazing gift being a mother is all by itself. I know how hard it is to have to get up and got to work every morning and drop your baby off at daycare. Even after three years I would sometimes cry in my car on the way to work. I know how hard it is to be sick and still have to drag yourself up in the morning because your kids won't feed themselves.I know how hard it is to have to undo some of the bad behaviors they have learned form other kids at daycare. I also know how hard it is to maintain the good habits and structure that day care gave them. Neither is all good or all bad. Being a working mother is hard, being a stay at home mother is hard. They have different challenges, but the goal is the same: to be a good mother.
One of my favorite quotes comes from my all time favorite movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." How true this is. So the thing I want for Mother's Day this year I already have. I have the chance to stop and look around and enjoy my children. Now it's up to me to take advantage of that opportunity and not squander it. To remember that these days will be gone sooner than I think. To make sure that that I take all the joy that motherhood has to offer. To all the mom's out there, Happy Mother's Day. Take the opportunity this Mother's Day to stop and look around. Enjoy the things that will eventually go too fast. And someone please tell my husband that he can't go wrong with some Godiva chocolates.
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