I have been proud of some of my clever titles for this blog. I could not however think of a clever title for this entry. Ok, that's not exactly true. I could think of lots, just none were particularly appropriate.
I am sure most of you have seen the new Times magazine cover. You know the one with the almost four year old standing on a chair to breastfeed from his mother. I know that a lot of my friends have been talking about it. I will admit that I have a hard time talking about breastfeeding sometimes. I am a huge breastfeeding advocate. I think it is not only an amazingly healthy thing to do for your child but I personally have found it to be an incredibly moving spiritual experience as well. For me, the bond formed while nursing cannot be expressed in words. But sometimes I blush at the thought of talking about it.
I know that not all mothers can or choose to breastfeed. I have a good friend who cannot, I in no way think that she is a lesser mother because of it. I also do not judge those who choose not to breastfeed. It is a choice. It defiantly has some drawbacks. I mean I am envious of those bottle feeding mothers who can roll over at the 2 a.m. feeding and say to their husband "Your turn" and go back to sleep. My husband got up and helped those first few weeks at the feedings, but that help sometimes consisted of sleeping on the floor while I tried to stay awake and nurse the baby. But my own personal viewpoint is that I am grateful for the opportunity to breastfeed. Now back to the cover.
I personally find the cover picture disturbing to me. I think he is too old, but if she wants to breastfeed her child that long, it really doesn't affect me. But what does affect me is the potential backlash against breastfeeding mothers this cover may generate. It is already hard enough to nurse in public. I mean I have a nursing wrap that I use, so nothing can be seen. And while no one has ever commented to me regarding my nursing I do often get dirty looks and a lot of staring. And my son is only 7 months old. The real story we as a country should be discussing is the low breastfeeding numbers, not this crazy cover. I found a breast feeding report card on the CDC website here http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/data/reportcard2.htm
According to the CDC in 2011 less than 25% of infants were breastfed for 12 months, in Florida that number is less than 21%. And less than 15% nationally are exclusively breastfed at 6 months. Considering the extensive health benefits that have been shown to come from breastfeeding these numbers are shockingly low. Wouldn't our time be better spent trying to find ways to encourage our women to breastfeed and giving them access to the resources necessary to succeed? I was blessed, breastfeeding came very easily to me and my children. Eden had difficulty at first, but I was lucky and a lactation consultant came and we never had an issue after that. Elijah nursed like there was no tomorrow. I know that is not always the case, but I also know that not all women are fortunate enough to have access to support.
There is also a disturbing lack of access to areas conducive to nursing and/or pumping. I went back to work when Eden was 6 months old, but I was determined to nurse her for the recommended 12 months. I pumped religiously multiple times during the day. I was lucky, I had an office with a door that locked. I also was fortunate to work for the Health Department who was very understanding about my need to pump regularly. I was never given a hard time for pumping or questioned about it. In this country it is acceptable to give people frequent cigarette breaks but not every company is as accommodating for pumping mothers. How messed up is that? I have also been forced to pump while in a restroom, because there was no other option. I try very hard to be respectful of others around me and be discreet when I nurse or pump, but I will not apologize for nursing my baby. The point of my rambling post is that breastfeeding should not be seen as disgusting or inappropriate. We should encourage and support women who want to breastfeed no matter how long they choose to do so. I try not to judge a group of people by the fanatics. No one would want to be judged that way. I hope that people do not judge breastfeeding by the Time cover. Not all of us are breastfeeding until the age of four, and most importantly not all of us are ok being photographed doing so. Most of us are just making the best decision for ourselves and our baby that we can. So please don't stare at me like I am flashing Mardi Gras floats for beads when I am nursing my son. And yes I am aware that he slurps very loudly, he's a growing boy.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
What I want for Mother's Day
My first official Mother's Day when Eden was born was quite interesting. Elliott was sure to not forget, though I think he went shopping the day before but hey that's pretty good for him. I was excited, I had just started back to work and was feeling depressed. So I was so excited to see what thoughtful presents Elliott had gotten me and to bask in my new motherhood. I couldn't wait to get one of the flowers they always hand out to the mom's on Mother's Day at church. It started with three different cards. One from him, one from Eden and one funny card. Okay a little strange, but thoughtful. Then I open the first present.... a counter top chopper with a note that says "Now you can make me my own food, Love Eden". Okay not terrible but not particularly inspired. Maybe it will be better with the last one which is bigger. I tear open the package to find a meat grinder attachment for my Kitchen Aide mixer. Um..... a meat grinder? What am I going to do with that? Let's just say I have never had an overwhelming desire to grind my own meat and that I was not happy. I tried to act like I liked it, but I just couldn't. I ended up returning it and using the money towards buying a Nintendo Wii. So Mother's Day is a week away and Elliott keeps asking me what do you want?
I have been thinking hard about this and for the first time cannot think of much. Shocking I know. I already have the biggest gift I could have ever gotten. I have to opportunity to stay at home with my children. Sometimes in the midst of the tantrums and chores I forget how truly blessed I am to have this opportunity. Sometimes I get caught up in the daily grind and forget to just stop and say 'Wow, I would have missed this if I still worked." With all of the recent buzz about stay at home versus working moms I actually stopped to think about how lucky I am. Comparing my life now to when I was working has given me a new perspective. No not everyday at home is good. It is not all sunshine and rainbows, some are down right not fun, but my worst days at home are still better than my best days at work. I get the opportunity to see all of the milestones that Elijah achieves. I get to see how amazing Eden's imagination and vocabulary has gotten. I have the privilege of being there when they "get it" for the first time. Whether it's Eden learning a new letter to Elijah using a sippy cup for the first time, I get to be there. Perhaps most importantly is just getting the time to spend with them, even if we aren't doing anything more exciting than going to the grocery store. What an amazing gift being a mother is all by itself. I know how hard it is to have to get up and got to work every morning and drop your baby off at daycare. Even after three years I would sometimes cry in my car on the way to work. I know how hard it is to be sick and still have to drag yourself up in the morning because your kids won't feed themselves.I know how hard it is to have to undo some of the bad behaviors they have learned form other kids at daycare. I also know how hard it is to maintain the good habits and structure that day care gave them. Neither is all good or all bad. Being a working mother is hard, being a stay at home mother is hard. They have different challenges, but the goal is the same: to be a good mother.
One of my favorite quotes comes from my all time favorite movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." How true this is. So the thing I want for Mother's Day this year I already have. I have the chance to stop and look around and enjoy my children. Now it's up to me to take advantage of that opportunity and not squander it. To remember that these days will be gone sooner than I think. To make sure that that I take all the joy that motherhood has to offer. To all the mom's out there, Happy Mother's Day. Take the opportunity this Mother's Day to stop and look around. Enjoy the things that will eventually go too fast. And someone please tell my husband that he can't go wrong with some Godiva chocolates.
I have been thinking hard about this and for the first time cannot think of much. Shocking I know. I already have the biggest gift I could have ever gotten. I have to opportunity to stay at home with my children. Sometimes in the midst of the tantrums and chores I forget how truly blessed I am to have this opportunity. Sometimes I get caught up in the daily grind and forget to just stop and say 'Wow, I would have missed this if I still worked." With all of the recent buzz about stay at home versus working moms I actually stopped to think about how lucky I am. Comparing my life now to when I was working has given me a new perspective. No not everyday at home is good. It is not all sunshine and rainbows, some are down right not fun, but my worst days at home are still better than my best days at work. I get the opportunity to see all of the milestones that Elijah achieves. I get to see how amazing Eden's imagination and vocabulary has gotten. I have the privilege of being there when they "get it" for the first time. Whether it's Eden learning a new letter to Elijah using a sippy cup for the first time, I get to be there. Perhaps most importantly is just getting the time to spend with them, even if we aren't doing anything more exciting than going to the grocery store. What an amazing gift being a mother is all by itself. I know how hard it is to have to get up and got to work every morning and drop your baby off at daycare. Even after three years I would sometimes cry in my car on the way to work. I know how hard it is to be sick and still have to drag yourself up in the morning because your kids won't feed themselves.I know how hard it is to have to undo some of the bad behaviors they have learned form other kids at daycare. I also know how hard it is to maintain the good habits and structure that day care gave them. Neither is all good or all bad. Being a working mother is hard, being a stay at home mother is hard. They have different challenges, but the goal is the same: to be a good mother.
One of my favorite quotes comes from my all time favorite movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." How true this is. So the thing I want for Mother's Day this year I already have. I have the chance to stop and look around and enjoy my children. Now it's up to me to take advantage of that opportunity and not squander it. To remember that these days will be gone sooner than I think. To make sure that that I take all the joy that motherhood has to offer. To all the mom's out there, Happy Mother's Day. Take the opportunity this Mother's Day to stop and look around. Enjoy the things that will eventually go too fast. And someone please tell my husband that he can't go wrong with some Godiva chocolates.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Hello! My Name is Bucky?
Last week while shopping for Easter supplies at JoAnn's my daughter was standing on the front of the cart. She started yelling "Full speed ahead Bucky!" Bucky? Who the hell is Bucky? Apparently Bucky is me. Now I have been called a lot of things, some of which are not appropriate for this blog but I have to admit that Bucky was a new one. I learned that Bucky is the name of the ship in Jake and the Neverland Pirates, her newest obsession. So for the entire rest of the store visit she yelled things like "Go right Bucky!" and "Bucky you aren't listening very well!". This funny little exchange made me start thinking about all of my "names". You know mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend and sometimes last on the list, but it shouldn't be is Erin. Yes, my name is Erin. I might answer to "mommy" or as Eden usually calls me "mother" but I am still me. Too often as mother's I think we subjugate who we are and what we enjoy for our families. Now I am not saying that we don't as mother's have to make sacrifices, but I am starting to realize the importance of carving out a little me time. I used to feel insanely guilty about taking some time for myself to do whatever. And sometimes I still do. You know those elusive minutes when both your kids are napping or at least pretending to nap and therefore not with you. How many of us are tempted to start catching up on other chores? There is always that load of laundry or in my case that mountain of laundry that is calling your name. I am slowly learning that those minutes may be spent well catching up on laundry but just as important is to seize those minutes for yourself. I admit that sometimes when my kids are both asleep or at least quiet that I just sit and stare at the wall and enjoy the quiet. Sometimes I get really crazy and sit down with lunch and a book and read. A real book, not a parenting book. The guilt still tugs at me when the kids are up and the fray begins again and I have to somehow figure out how to do the dishes one handed because Elijah doesn't want to be put down. But I am starting to realize that I am a better mom if I take some time and recharge.
I will also admit that I used to judge other mom's who got this idea. I would see them taking time for themselves and thought it must be nice to be a slacker mom. I also somehow thought that giving up every waking minute to my family somehow made me a better mother. I apologize to those women, I was so wrong. Apparently in my self righteous delusion I thought that being miserable somehow meant I was doing it right. I heard someone say that blogs are self indulgent. And it's true it is. But you know what I've decided I'm ok with that. I will indulge myself and take a little time for myself. Otherwise I might start thinking my name was Bucky and then where would I be?
I will also admit that I used to judge other mom's who got this idea. I would see them taking time for themselves and thought it must be nice to be a slacker mom. I also somehow thought that giving up every waking minute to my family somehow made me a better mother. I apologize to those women, I was so wrong. Apparently in my self righteous delusion I thought that being miserable somehow meant I was doing it right. I heard someone say that blogs are self indulgent. And it's true it is. But you know what I've decided I'm ok with that. I will indulge myself and take a little time for myself. Otherwise I might start thinking my name was Bucky and then where would I be?
Thursday, March 22, 2012
The beginning...
The beginning of my daughters journey to make me feel old began last Thursday. My parents, my sister Megan and my brother Zack were down visiting and we went to the county fair. Last year Eden could ride most of the kiddie rides but needed an adult for some of them. This year she was tall enough to ride all the kiddie rides alone and most of the adult rides with an adult. But that is not what made me feel old. Most of my friends know I love roller coasters, love, love, love them. I am also a fan of most carnival rides. Most because I don't do those totally crazy ones that hang you upside down while you spin. The only time I have ever gotten motion sick was on a cruise boat, little boats don't bother me and when I was pregnant. No, I am not pregnant, let's just get that out of the way. But last Thursday I got totally motion sick. So motion sick that I threw up all night long. Eden however was fine. In fact she got upset when the rides ended. Me on the other hand had to work very hard to keep from puking on the storm. Good thing I had all that practice with morning sickness. So my four year old daughter out- rode her mom at the county fair. Is this the beginning of the end? I guess it could have been food poisoning too. Now that I think about it I like that idea. Maybe it doesn't mean I'm getting old, lol.
Eden is so precocious. We were at Lowe's the other day and she sees a pair of Disney princess gardening gloves, of which she already has a pair. She says she needs another one. I tell her, you already have those. To which she informs me that "I need them, you know why? Because I am going to get pregnant and I need to save them for my little baby." WHAT????? She is already planning her pregnancy? At Publix the other day she asks me "Mom, can I have a magazine about makeup?" My reply was "No way, you are four. You don't get to wear makeup." She is in such a hurry to grow up, and I know all kids are. I just want to tell her to slow down, being a grown up will come soon enough. And trust me there will be days when you wish you could be a kid again. But somehow I don't think she would listen to me.
Eden is so precocious. We were at Lowe's the other day and she sees a pair of Disney princess gardening gloves, of which she already has a pair. She says she needs another one. I tell her, you already have those. To which she informs me that "I need them, you know why? Because I am going to get pregnant and I need to save them for my little baby." WHAT????? She is already planning her pregnancy? At Publix the other day she asks me "Mom, can I have a magazine about makeup?" My reply was "No way, you are four. You don't get to wear makeup." She is in such a hurry to grow up, and I know all kids are. I just want to tell her to slow down, being a grown up will come soon enough. And trust me there will be days when you wish you could be a kid again. But somehow I don't think she would listen to me.
Friday, March 9, 2012
The question is...
How many times can a relatively sane adult watch episodes of Curious George before they lose the tenuous grip on reality that they are clinging to? The answer may be somewhere around 32. Eden woke up with a stomach bug that resulted in lots of puking yesterday. In order to keep her quiet and entertained she got to watch TV all day. Really isn't that one of the benefits of being sick? But as a result she watched Curious George all day long. Now I am a fan of the PBS show, I really am. They teach simple lessons, they are cute, and the animation isn't too fast. But seriously who puts a monkey in charge of a candy store? I mean that's just ridiculous. Even more ridiculous is that I have wasted time contemplating this question. This is a dangerous path to go down. Next thing you know you find yourself shushing your four year old because she is talking and you really want to hear the end of Barbie Princess Charm School. Don't judge, I had been forced to watch the beginning multiple times, and I wanted to see the end.
We tried really hard when Eden was little to limit her TV time. In fact she didn't watch any TV until 18 months. Really she didn't. Yes, I know that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children watch no TV until age 2. We almost made it but then we had to drive to Orlando in the day and we broke down and got a DVD player for the car. But poor Eli is not so lucky. He is obsessed with watching the TV. I try to limit his exposure, but I can't never let Eden watch TV. Quite honestly sometimes I need a break and a good bribe.
Some of you may not know that when we moved into our house almost two years ago (I can't believe it's been that long either) we did not turn on the cable or get a dish. That's right we don't even have rabbit ears. Now I still watch my favorite shows on hulu, but we don't have normal TV. Almost two years later and you know what; I think it was one of the best decisions we have ever made. Not only do I get to control what Eden watches, but the temptation to veg out in front of the TV after the kids go to bed isn't as strong. This in no way means that Eden is not totally obsessed with TV, she is. But at least I can decide what she watches. Now some of you may be offended at my next statement. Please don't be, it is just my opinion. Words cannot describe how much I dislike Spongebob Square Pants. I think it is stupid, offensive and makes my kid dumber for having watched it. So I do not allow her to watch Spongebob, and because we do not have TV, she doesn't turn on the TV and find it on. And as an added bonus there are no commercials. This is amazing. Eden begs for enough stuff when we go to the store, but at least I don't have to hear about what she wants at home because she saw it on TV. Now if I could just get the veggie tales songs out of my head and figure out why someone sends a monkey in a submarine to find a splashed down satellite I will have some sanity back.
We tried really hard when Eden was little to limit her TV time. In fact she didn't watch any TV until 18 months. Really she didn't. Yes, I know that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children watch no TV until age 2. We almost made it but then we had to drive to Orlando in the day and we broke down and got a DVD player for the car. But poor Eli is not so lucky. He is obsessed with watching the TV. I try to limit his exposure, but I can't never let Eden watch TV. Quite honestly sometimes I need a break and a good bribe.
Some of you may not know that when we moved into our house almost two years ago (I can't believe it's been that long either) we did not turn on the cable or get a dish. That's right we don't even have rabbit ears. Now I still watch my favorite shows on hulu, but we don't have normal TV. Almost two years later and you know what; I think it was one of the best decisions we have ever made. Not only do I get to control what Eden watches, but the temptation to veg out in front of the TV after the kids go to bed isn't as strong. This in no way means that Eden is not totally obsessed with TV, she is. But at least I can decide what she watches. Now some of you may be offended at my next statement. Please don't be, it is just my opinion. Words cannot describe how much I dislike Spongebob Square Pants. I think it is stupid, offensive and makes my kid dumber for having watched it. So I do not allow her to watch Spongebob, and because we do not have TV, she doesn't turn on the TV and find it on. And as an added bonus there are no commercials. This is amazing. Eden begs for enough stuff when we go to the store, but at least I don't have to hear about what she wants at home because she saw it on TV. Now if I could just get the veggie tales songs out of my head and figure out why someone sends a monkey in a submarine to find a splashed down satellite I will have some sanity back.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
So here goes...
So here goes my journey into the murky world of being a stay at home mom. Enter the world of temper tantrums and play dates, leave the world of a working mother. I am excited to be on this journey and slightly cautious as to what lies ahead. It has been five months since Elijah was born and I think I am still getting used to it. I have been on maternity leave for the last five months and will continue to be until March 20th. On the 20th I will be officially a member of the stay at home mom club. The biggest lesson I have learned being a stay at home mom so far has been that just because I am staying at home does not mean that my children will miraculously become perfect children. In fact I think the opposite has been true. Eden seems to be much more comfortable pushing her limits now that we are home. Her favorite time to explore: when I am feeding Eli. She knows I am stuck in one spot for a little while and she can create chaos. As a result she has been banned from my room and bathroom. Not that this stops her, but it makes me feel better.
And that leads me to my second lesson: Take joy in little victories and in your own delusions. Seriously no kids are perfect, and being the mother of a toddler is a lesson in accepting and taking joy in the tiny victories. For example I could get seriously frustrated that we have to visit the bathroom 12 times in a one hour trip to Target. But then Eden looks up at me and says "Mom, I listened to my body and I didn't have an accident." It makes the frustration of going back to the bathroom even though she just went ten minutes ago a little more tolerable.
My final lesson/mini rant is: Don't compare yourself to other mothers. Does it make you feel like a better mother to make super healthy lunches and snacks for your kids? Good for you, but don't look at me like you are going to call DCF because I gave my kids frozen chicken nuggets, hey I cooked them first. This is not to say that I don't try really hard to make sure that Eden eats well balanced and healthy meals. But I am not going to make myself feel bad because all she ate was two frozen go-gurts. At least it is yogurt. There is enough pressure and outside forces telling us that we are bad mothers. Do we really need to do that to each other? I promise that if you stop tsking at me because I told Eden if she doesn't start behaving that I would sell her on ebay, and I won't comment on the fact that your kid is making fart sounds behind your back.
I can't promise that my blog will contain any amazing insight into being a stay at home mom. In fact I can pretty much promise the opposite, but I will try not to sugarcoat the journey. Because someday I will find it in me to laugh at how yesterday at the park Eli had a blow out diaper. It might be funny that I discovered this because I picked him up and poop ran down my wrist. Until then I am going to take a victory in that it didn't get on my clothes, and that I am eternally grateful for hand sanitizer.
And that leads me to my second lesson: Take joy in little victories and in your own delusions. Seriously no kids are perfect, and being the mother of a toddler is a lesson in accepting and taking joy in the tiny victories. For example I could get seriously frustrated that we have to visit the bathroom 12 times in a one hour trip to Target. But then Eden looks up at me and says "Mom, I listened to my body and I didn't have an accident." It makes the frustration of going back to the bathroom even though she just went ten minutes ago a little more tolerable.
My final lesson/mini rant is: Don't compare yourself to other mothers. Does it make you feel like a better mother to make super healthy lunches and snacks for your kids? Good for you, but don't look at me like you are going to call DCF because I gave my kids frozen chicken nuggets, hey I cooked them first. This is not to say that I don't try really hard to make sure that Eden eats well balanced and healthy meals. But I am not going to make myself feel bad because all she ate was two frozen go-gurts. At least it is yogurt. There is enough pressure and outside forces telling us that we are bad mothers. Do we really need to do that to each other? I promise that if you stop tsking at me because I told Eden if she doesn't start behaving that I would sell her on ebay, and I won't comment on the fact that your kid is making fart sounds behind your back.
I can't promise that my blog will contain any amazing insight into being a stay at home mom. In fact I can pretty much promise the opposite, but I will try not to sugarcoat the journey. Because someday I will find it in me to laugh at how yesterday at the park Eli had a blow out diaper. It might be funny that I discovered this because I picked him up and poop ran down my wrist. Until then I am going to take a victory in that it didn't get on my clothes, and that I am eternally grateful for hand sanitizer.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
So I know it's been a long time
Like I said I know it's been a long time. It has been a really hectic month for us. Eden got sick, got better, and then got sick again, Elliott had a chemical burn on his eye, Tropical Storm Fay hit, and somewhere in there we still had to find time to do all the things we needed to. SO life has been crazy. Instead of trying to catch up on everything I am going to look forward.
Today Eden had cake for the first time. Her daycare had a party at Chik-Fil-A and they had a cake. I figured why not and Eden loved it, as oyu can tell from the pics. She is such a sweetheart, but stubborn as anything. At daycare they have given up on trying to get her to nap. She knows if she cries long enough they will come pick her up. So even though she naps great at home, she refuses to nap at daycare. So instead they give her free reign of the school during naptime. She helps make lunch and hangs out with the big kids which she loves. Last week she wa sup while the other babies were sleeping and Eden crawled to and pulled herself up on each crib and laughed at them. Apparently she thought it really funny that she was free and they were in the cribs! Oh, well. My baby girl has to be the center of attention and if she isn't she isn't happy. She gets that from her dad by the way. Add to that the stubborness she got from me and you have got one little princess. I just love that girl something fierce.
We are getting really excited about our upcoming vacation. On Sept. 25 Eden and I are flying up to meet Elliott in Washington D.C. We will be there for a few days and then we are going to drive down to Williamsburg, VA. We are super excited. We get to see some old friends in DC, and family in VA. I have never been to DC so I am just thrilled to get to go. Plus we get to take Eden. We bought a new video camera and can't wait to take videos of her. Too bad we didn't take the video camera today. Oh, well there will be more cake pictures. At least we know she will ike it on her birthday. Well, that's all for now. I will try to be better this coming month.
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